Smack dab in the middle of west Texas desert rests the oasis of Fort Panic along the high in the sky shore of Lake Woemeeitchee. Inside that volcanic crater ridge, village cabins weave like bird nests amongst fir, pine and maple. For long ago Mount Sur had blown its top to the heavens to make room for the waters of Lake Woemeeitchee and the down home folks that would settle many moons later...
Now who would not flock to see such a village as this: an oasis by the name Fort Panic threatened on all sides by unforgiving desert, resting in the active volcanic crater known as Lake Woemeeitchee? What else could possibly draw more thrill seekers and scientists like flies than volcanic danger, except perhaps disgustingly stinky danger? Lake Woemeeitchee irregularly passed gas of volcanic proportions. A special gas temporarily stunning to fish, but not humans; although the olfactory nerves of Lake Woemeeitchee visitors might gag to disagree.
Oh, what a riddle of mystery, what an enigma of paradox, what an anomaly of juxtaposition was the catch 22 question vexing the vexed. From all round the world the curious, the tourist, the scientist, the doomsayer, the reporterous scoopticuss just had to come, to see, to smell, to itch to ask one question: "Why?"
"Why?" gasped KOPE Channel 3.1 reporter Beau Airr, as the just passed gas of Lake Woemeeitchee wafted by. "Why," Beau rubbed eyes and nose with freehand, his voice shifted to in-distress nasal twang, "why would any sane person with a nose live in such a 'disaster waiting to happen' place as Fort Panic? Why would the people, who live here, so stubbornly resist government efforts to relocate them? Why, well who better to answer that question than mayor of Fort Panic, Bob Tomm. So why, Mayor Bob? Reporter Beau Airr thrust the microphone into the hand of Mayor Bob. Beau needed both hands to scratch.
"We won't run, because us Fort Panic natives don't ask why... we do why not. Well that, and mostly we have just learned not to scratch," Mayor Bob said, then added, "When Lake Woemeeitchee breaks wind, we go out in tha boats and net tha floating fish fer supper."
"You eat dead gassed fish!" Reporter Beau Airr gagged.
"Not dead, stunned," Mayor Bob corrected. "We kill tha fish later when we cut off its head, gut it and scale it. Takes a real sharp knife. Oh, and also, before that, while in tha boats netting tha fish, we gather up the edible fresh water kelp that tha gas release knocks loose from the bottom of Lake Woemeeitchee."
Reporter Beau Airr fell to all fours and wretched.
Like a moose of night caught in headlights, Mayor Bob for a moment stared into the still rolling cameras, didn't know what else to say, but, "I see Beau had the fish and kelp salad down at Uncle Kelpy's Cafe. So... so... its like as we Fort Panic natives always say: tha main thing, 'the' main thing is... just don't panic... and trust in the Lord Jesus. We always say that cause in making tha best outta what we got... we grow in fatness of tha soul. Amen!"
On knees, reporter Beau Airr grabbed the microphone. Bob did not let go. Beau Airr warned, "Stop! This is live! Elected officials are forbidden to mention God. The government, the courts will prosecute!" Beau Airr added dry heave for emphasis.
"You mean persecute, there, Beau," Mayor Bob corrected, added, "God created Lake Womeeitchee to provide for us; and no matter how many tha threats by misguided government and so called scientist alike, threats to relocate us fer our own supposedly good; we children of God reserve the God given right to live where God intends, to think and speak as God directs, and have life as God provides. And our Creator, the Living God Almighty, keeps us as the apple of His eye... Praise our Father God in the name of His precious Son Jesus Christ... Amen, again!"
The gauntlet had been cast down... Coming soon: The Siege of Fort Panic...
Be anxious about nothing... Trust in Jesus... Philippians 4:6-7
Find fatness of the soul... Isaiah 55:1-2
We who love Christ Jesus shall not be separated from the love of God... Romans 8:37,38,39
We are the apple of His eye... Psalm 17:8
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...Thank you Jesus for loving us...
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