WHEN ITCHY GETS SCRATCHY

            "Molasses is my name, slow sweet lovin' is my game," she purred.

            "Spring time in hell... is no picnic," startled to the point of not knowing why nor what she said, Janet stepped back, retreat cut short by food laden picnic table.

            Molasses oozed close, in Janet's ear blew smoke, "My friends call me Moe."

            "Just because you married Uncle Ted and come to our family reunion, does not make you my friend," Janet near breathless breathed, gulped air, added, "nor family."

            "You are just uptight.  I can fix that," Moe cooed.

            Janet slipped sideways from between Moe and picnic table.  She retreated to side of approaching husband. "Robert, that woman..."

            "Is hotter than a hornets nest and twice as deadly," Robert finished Janet's sentence to spare her embarrassment. "I was coming to the rescue."

            "What is wrong with her?" Janet fought for composer.  Now in the arms of her husband, her face faded from red.

            "A diet totally void of moral fiber induces constipation of the brain." Robert glared in Moe direction.

            Nervous giggle escaped Janet. "Husband of mine," she snarfeled, "you may have just coined an adage." She giggled again.

            "Why is every family reunion a re-crisis?" Robert shook head.

            "Oh no, there she goes again!" Janet gasped.

            Cousin Bennie was just passing by.  Moe met him chest to breast, pressed into him, backed him up, pinned him against vine covered oak tree trunk.  She kissed him full on the lips.  Bennie kissed her back, spun her round.  In backless blouse her flesh found bed in the cool foliage.

             "There are children.  This needs to stop." Janet growled, added, "Robert get Uncle Ted over here right now.  You tell him to control that, that thing he calls a wife."

            "Oh, be a sport." Robert grinned. "They are just having fun."

            "What!" Janet freaked.  With both hands she reached up, pulled Robert's face to hers, looked him square in the eyes, questioned, "Is my Christian husband in there?"

            Robert kissed tip of wife's accusation pointing nose, then smiled. "You do know God gave us the Ten Commandments to not only guide us, but protect us?"

            In mini whiplash Janet's neck and head whipped back, then forward.  With blue eyes wide, her lips cried, "What!?"

            "See that oak tree those two are writhing against?" Robert nodded direction.

            Janet turned head, looked. "Yes," she said.

            "See that bed of plush green vines caressing their flesh?" Robert whispered in her ear.

            "Oh! Ohhhhhhhh!" Janet snarfeled out loud.  "You mean, oh husband of mine, do I see the consequences of sin?"

            "I think they call it poison ivy," Robert snuggled nose in wife's soft auburn hair.

            "Spring time in hell is no picnic... when itchy gets scratchy." Janet relaxed in hubby's arms.

             "I'll go fetch the garden hose," Robert sighed, then grinned at the thought of hosing down the amorous two with ice cold water.

             Janet hugged her kind hearted man, sighed too, said, "I'll get the soap from the kitchen."


Consequences to sin... are no coincidences... yet necessary reminders...

God loves the contrite heart... Tell him about it... Apologize... Ask God for forgiveness in His Son's name... Jesus...

Every one of us has something to apologize for... Romans 3:23, 6:23, 5:8, 10:9-13 of The Holy Bible