STEW GONE WRONG

            "If I have to do just one more," like butter in summer suffering meltdown on the Stew Gone Wrong Saloon parking lot, KJLU reporter Creme Brulee sizzled, "do just one more, just one more dive of a diner interview; I am forsaking Fort Worth, retiring to New Orleans, and changing my name to Creme Fraiche."

            Too late frantic waving of camera crew alerted Creme to live on air status.

            "Or to Mud, just call me Mud Slide.  No doubt this is viral bound," quake of Creme rumbled aftershock, then switched gears, tried to salvage ruins with loony toon smile. "Only funnin' folks, KJLU reporter Creme Brulee here and I cannot wait to meet home town celebrity Bad Stewie, owner and head cook of the historic old west, bullet riddled, Stew Gone Wrong Saloon." Camera a follow, her shoes crunched gravel as she walked past parking lot front row of pickup trucks, old clunkers and bookoodles of motorcycles.  Creme turned head, beckoned with hand, "Come, follow if you dare..."

            And there Creme stood, face to face with iron clad brace, a riveted iron cross, upon an old saloon's crusty old door.  She reached out, grasped handle of palm shined brass, opened door to guts of past, the Stew Gone Wrong Saloon.

            Stepping thru threshold, Creme stepped right in that name called Mud, "Oh boy!" She cringed at what she feared to be her very own, spitten on, image.  For there she was live and in person on 120 inch full color TV.

            But what was this, instead of lynching party, diner patrons tried to play nice, many struggled to stifle, even hide snickers with hand over mouth; for after all, most had been there, that place called foot in mouth. But then jarringly and suddenly...

            Thru swinging kitchen doors a paw waving, bear sized Bad Stewie bounded out, cued crowd to shout, "Howdy Miss Creme!!"

            Bad Stewie grabbed her up, bestowed his signature bear hug, near squeezed the sauce right out of Creme. "Let not too far... turn too late..." Stewie whispered in Creme's ear.  He kissed that ear.

            Creme's legs near gave out.  Stewie held her fast, kept her from falling, said, "Need a chair Miss Creme?  You seem a tad frazzled." And yes, her blond hair was a bit frazzled, as her eyes melted into his.

            Some of the diner crowd gave wink, amid a united sigh.

            The camera guy, er gal, Lisa, whispered, "Now this is live TV. Good stuff!" She thumbs upped crew tech behind her.

            Was it embarrassment, was it the bear hug squeeze, or maybe the kiss on ear; just what was it that left Creme, a seasoned reporter, a master communicator, and one hot chick to boot... left her without words?

            "Are you okay, Miss Creme?" Stewie feared he'd squeezed a tad too hard, maybe even broke her.

            "I'm," Creme near lost grip on microphone,  as she rested palms gainst Bad Stewie teddy bear chest, "I'm... its just your hair took me off guard." Her lips lied, but her green eyes hid not her heart. "Why did you dye it all those colors?" She steered diversion, even managed segue to interview.

            "Well," Bad Stewie with gentle paw to the small of her back ushered Creme's tail feathers into bar stool nest.  He plopped down on stool beside her, "well, the hair is like for real."

            "What? You are kidding me, right? No young man has splotchy black, gray, green, firey red and purple natural hair." She reached out, combed it thru fingers. "Its so soft." She whispered.

            Big Bad Stewie blushed. "I didn't say natural." Stewie smiled, "I said for real quite unatural."

            "But is not your hair one of the reasons why locals and the media call you Bad Stewie?" She pried.

            "That and here at the Stew Gone Wrong Saloon, we make the best rabid hasenpfeffer in Texas." Stewie gave his diner and cuisine plug.

            "Okay, hype guy, the stew is good, but what about the hair?" Creme sensed personal interest hook.

            The hair is sort a personal,"Stewie stalled, yet sighed, "but near all here already know I was just a kid when I caught that evil upon my head.  Doctors thought it a rare fungus, probably from the Holsteins I milked every morning on the ranch. Anyhow, no medicine they had at the time cured it, so they decided radiation the answer."

            "They used radiation on your head? How horrible!" Creme lay hand on his massive forearm, added, "Sort a puts one's own petty rumblings in perspective."

            "Yeah, I'm a bit older than you might think.  Back then the docs tended to use radiation a rad too much.  I still remember my hair falling out by the roots, the kids at school teasing, my violent retaliation, and then," Stewie sighed, gave shoulder shrug, smiled wide, "then it grew back out... rainbow colored."

            "They hurt you." Concern flooded green eyes.

            "Had head aches for years, then one day the Lord just made them disappear." Stewie nodded matter of factly, tilted head face upward, and gave a big ol', "Thank you Father God, in Jesus name."

            "The LORD," many at diner tables repeated, some amened, many more nodded.

            "That was unexpected." Wondering set astir, Creme took notice of amening patrons. The camera followed her eyes, panned the crowd of old and of young, of dads, moms and children, of Fort Worth cowboys, warehouse and railroad crew workers, and bookoodles of leather clad tattooed bikers, and... "Oh my,"Creme near gasped, "a table full of lawyers and paralegals, and is that an agent of the IRS?" But then she, and camera, and all of live TV watching saw the crosses round necks and studded in silver on black leather jackets; saw the Jesus T-shirts, and even... even was it... did they all wear the light...

            "But this is an old saloon." Creme understood not. "These people are all, well, all from the rough side of the tracks. How can this be?"

            "Not all that's added... is a plus," Stewie spoke heart. "Ever since the Eve of sin, Adam and the rest of us, we all got our minuses. But as recorded in Mark 2:17, when Jesus was criticized for attending a dinner party full of disreputable folks at a tax collectors home, he told his critics that he came not for those who think themselves righteous, but for those who know they are sinners; for those who are healthy have no need of a physician, but those who are sick do.  And so it is that thru Jesus... God's grace... our past of day... is cast ago away... When we love Jesus, the Son of God, we love his Father, and we become God's children also. So are... the once rough crowd forgiven and blessed."

            And Creme Brulee, a once tad too driven professional reporter, lay her head gainst a once bad Stewie's bear of a chest.  And she confessed, as she wept, the name of the one and the only true Word... "Jesus."

            "Grace to the neck... the gift of light to the soul... Jesus..." said the saved from the bad, Stuart B. Bruin, as he hugged her and with gentle paw patted the nape of the neck of Creme Brulee... three little pats at a time...

            And the diners at tables let out a collective sigh of pure joy, punctuated with an amen blessing here and there...  

            And Lisa the cameraman, er camera lady, smiled, then said, "Now that's what I call live TV.  Good stuff!" She thumbs upped to heaven.

John 8:12 KJ: Jesus, "I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." (John 1:1-14)

That most important decision of any life... might better make it now... for the never too late... tread not a moment too soon...

(This has been but a humble parable pointing to Biblical teaching. The true stories of the Holy Bible are infinitely more awesome. Crack one open. Let your life be awesome.) (For a true story bout stew in the Bible see Jacob & Esau in Genesis.)

Stew Gone Wrong? What to do? 2nd Chronicles 7:14...